Stripey Jumper

Book review - Death, Destruction and a packet of Peanuts by Chris Pascoe

2009-05-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

As someone who doesn't drink and has no interest in history, this book didn't seem particularly promising. A bloke goes on a massive pub crawl, while visiting sites of major battlefields of the English Civil War.
By the end of the second page, I was hooked. The author, Chris Pascoe, is a very funny writer - I defy anyone not to laugh at his story of the shed-eating dog or the American tourist rewriting history. But even more impressively, he brings the Civil War, a subject I've always associated with memorising dates at school, to full technicolour life. Some of the descriptions of battles are breathtaking and the characters mesemerising. Prince Rupert was my favourite, a man who didn't seem to have any concept of personal safety.
And then there was Pete. Pete was the author's traveling companion and a one-man disaster zone. His adventures are enough to make a book on their own, the highlights being an ill-advised toilet seat attack on a skinhead.
Throw in an incoherent Northerner called Dave and a dog of the same name, and you've got a book that I couldn't put down. Highly recommended.

Does this mean what I think it means?

2007-03-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

Is this suggesting that the buyer's mother and girlfriend are one and the same ? Isn't there a law against this kind of thing?

Amanda goes to Russia

2007-01-25T12:43:00.000-08:00

No, we don't know what it says, either. But it's the Russian version of Amanda, as licensed to Otkrytoe Pis’mo and available in your favourite Russian card shops soon for a very reasonable amount of roubles. До свидания!

Yet another cute bear.

2007-01-04T17:43:00.000-08:00

Look, I don't wish to go on about cute little bears - but yet ANOTHER one has just hit the market, bringing the total to around 45000. Best not to name and shame the publishers of the latest addition, but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Maybe we should join in and give up trying to be original. How about this? It's our very own CLOYINGLY CUTE BEAR. He is destined to become likkle fwend to millions - especially YOU, who he loves with all his heart. So go on, give him a big hug.

A flurry of activity

2006-12-16T12:15:00.000-08:00

The year is ending well for your favourite greeting card publishers. We've signed a deal to license Birthday Wishes, our bestselling range, into the UK - it should be in the shops by the end of the month. The same range is coming out in the USA in January and the Americans have also taken 10 of our Christmas designs for 2007. Cath Tate has licensed 8 new "Things to Do" designs, while there is also unexpected activity involving Russia and another of our ranges - more of that when the contract has been signed.
Finally, here's a Christmas card especially for YOU, with love from us all at Stripey Jumper.

Mike's modeling debut

2006-11-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

This is from our latest Birthday Wishes range - 12 new designs for 2007 and each one of them fabulous. Finding a model for this particular card was proving difficult - the photo library options were useless. And then Liz had a brainwave - and this is the result. These are being distrubted by Incognito in the UK - Phone 0161 929 6471.

Mike's first ever blog post.

2006-11-24T15:02:00.000-08:00

Hi, I am the third person in the Stripey Jumper story, the sales guy. You know the one, never lets a 'no' worry him, always asking the question “shall I go ahead and order those cards for you", never gets offended and keeps calling and begging our clients to buy more cards.

I have been in media sales for 25 years and have heard pretty much all of the objections that anyone could throw at me. Whenever a client says 'no' to me I automatically think “know” - they want to know more and keep on going. When they say “what part of no do you not understand", then I know I have gone a little too far.

I must admit that the greetings card game is a whole new sales enviroment, and we have discovered that getting in front of distributors can be a challenge.

What I have learnt is that we had to go to them, and they were in the UK and around the world. We did and it seemed to have worked.

Enough of that sales speak for now and onto my favourite series of cards. My favourite range (of ours, anyway) is Birthday Wishes, specifically farting and Shopping. Keep an eye out for the new one on sports channels - that is me on the cover…

Dave's favourite cards

2006-11-09T16:37:00.000-08:00

Cute pictures of cats? Pah! Badly drawn teddy bears? Pah! again. Unfunny funny cards? Yet another Pah! Whatever happened to IDEAS?
Try THESE. Love you long time. Their designs woke me up from my total lack of enthusiasm for any cards other than ours. The illustrations are fantastic - fresh and cute, without being cutesy-cute (if you know what I mean) and the lines are spot-on.
My favourites? Their astrology range. Look out for them - they're fab.
As for other publishers - hmmm. After flicking through the trade mags, I'm struggling. Pigment's Venus and Mars cards are ones I'd probably buy, while Edward Monkton are consistently good. And Cath Tate's cards always make me laugh (even the ones she licenses from Stripey Jumper).

Cards we like - Part 1

2006-09-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

Here at Stripey Jumper, we don't just like our own cards, y'know. So we've decided to share with the whole world some of the ranges we admire. It's my turn first, so it's big props for TEA TIME TARTS. From what I can make out, they're relatively new and have a freshness about them. Cath Tate's Olive Sandwich range are also a favourite, on the grounds that they're genuinely funny AND beautifully designed. Really Good cards are generally...umm..really good, and I love Pigment's Venus and Mars range. Choosing my favourite bear card is tough because they're all so adorably cute..nah, just kidding.
Watch this space for Dave's and Mike's favourites...coming soon.

I Gleeked. Or: Why Stripey Jumper don't have many lunch meetings

2006-09-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

(A viper gleeking.)

GLEEK v. to squirt liquid (including saliva) through the teeth or from under the tongue; less commonly, squirting saliva directly from the saliva glands

Some time ago, the creative team of Stripey Jumper were at a VERY IMPORTANT LUNCH. Sitting over the table from us were: 1. The then-MD of one of the UK's top 5 card publishers, and 2. the co-owner of a top New Zealand card company (also close friend of MD).
It was our first meeting of this kind since SJ began, and we were suitably nervous and excited.
Things were progressing nicely, when I took a bite of fish. Chewing contentedly, I looked around to see Dave with a horrified expression on his face. I sensed the mood of the gathering had definitely gone a bit awkward.
Thankfully, it was only later that he told me what had happened.
I had gleeked (see definition) directly at the number 2 guest, who, being a very composed and well-bred individual, merely registered a look of gentle surprise.
We never did get to do a deal with either of them.

New ranges

2006-09-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

We're currently working on our new ranges for next year. When I say WE are working that isn't strictly true. Liz is doing all the work, while I hover around her offering constructive comments on how to improve the designs. For some strange reason, she seems to think she could manage perfectly well without my assistance and has started putting headphones on and listening to loud music so she can drown out all my helpful suggestions.
I have just seen the next 12 designs in the Birthday wishes range, which Liz has just about finished. They are brilliant. Even without my input.

Amanda's turn

2006-09-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

Amanda would love this. A half page ad all about HER. It was put together by Pigment, who are licensing the range from us and it looks fabulous. Just like Amanda.

It's Christmas

2006-09-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it IS Christmas in cardworld and Stripey Jumper can be seen on 8 different pages in this month's UK card magazines, so I hope you bought plenty of copies. This is Cath Tate's Xmas ad, and apart from the obviously brilliant "Things to do at Xmas" ones, she has Christmas versions of her own Photocaption cards which I particularly liked - keep an eye out for them.

This glamorous life

2006-08-31T16:23:00.000-07:00

You thought having a card company was all excitement and fun, didn't you? So how come I have spent the last SIX HOURS counting cards. Yes, it's stocktaking time - because in true Stripey Jumper fashion, we somehow managed to lose track of which designs we had and which needed reprinting. So now, as part of our drive towards ruthless efficiency we have set up a computerised system which will tell us exactly what we have in stock. This will free us up to get back to our champagne lifestyle.

Bloody bears

2006-08-09T14:49:00.000-07:00

Obviously it's just me. Every other month there is a new cute little bear/elephant/duck character rolled out by one of the big companies. I'm not sure who the target market is for these things, but I know it's not me. My heart does not melt when I see their simpering little faces. In fact, my overwhelming emotional reaction is one of hostility.
It's really two things that irk me about these cute likkle creatures. One, (or "Number One..." as we Americans say) the total absence of creativity. And two, their naked CYNICISM. They are sold as "lovable" and "precious", when their real purpose is to make a desperate grab at the huge stacks of cash pulled in by the current reigning cute character -- Tatty Teddy. Shame!
This morning, the latest copy of Greetings Today arrived. And guess what was on the front? Yes, a NEW cute bear character. Who looked exactly like all the others.

Here's what has been happening

2006-08-07T16:48:00.000-07:00

We at Stripey Jumper apologise to all those who have been waiting for news. But here, briefly, is what has happened since our last update.
Liz visited Cath Tate in London ( who have licensed our Xmas version of "Things to Do" in addition to the birthday ones) and Pigment Productions in Harrogate ( who have licensed Amanda and Birthday Wishes). She'll be filing a report here soon.
We're getting ever closer to American distribution and should have news within a few weeks.
"Things to Do" and "Birthday Wishes" are about to be launched in New Zealand, while "Birthday Wishes" are going to be licensed by our Australian distributor.

Fame at last. Almost

2006-05-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

So we got one of our cards in Greetings Today magazine. Surely cause enough to get the champagne flowing at Stripey Jumper Towers? Err - not quite. Although the card looked magnificent, the accompanying words didn't really make much sense.

Dave's all-new all-time favourite songs

2006-05-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the great leap forward - Billy Bragg
Born under a bad sign - Richard Hawley
Black and white - The Upper Room
Chinese rocks - Johnny Thunders
Side streets - Saint Etienne
Street Life - Roxy Music
The bitterest pill - The Jam
I'm stoned in love with you - Stylistics
Hard rock hallelujah - Lordi ( It's the arockalypsde! )
The man comes around - Johnny Cash

Grumpy old man

2006-05-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

These are the things I hate so much, they have sent me into a frenzy of bitterness and anger, leaving me unable to do any work on cards today:

Photo libraries. They're rubbish, aren't they? You have to pay huge royalties for pictures which are slick and soulless, shot by someone with no imagination whatsoever. The disease is spreading. Newspapers in this country seem to use nothing but these photos.

Radio ads for Mother's Day. Why do they assume that all mothers would like nothing more than a CD of songs by people like James Blunt, Julio Iglesias (Spanish for "churches", trivia fans) and Enya. Enya! What's that all about? Does being a mother automatically mean you have no taste in music? Pah!

People who ring before 8am. Yes, people-who-do-Liz's-eyebrow-plucking, that's YOU I'm talking about. If you want a coherent conversation, ring at a more sensible time.

TVNZ. They actually cut bits out of Coronation Street so they can fit more ads in. Greedy bastards. Why do they think that we'd rather watch that mad woman from Briscoes telling us about their 55th sale of the year? Don't they have enough money already?

Liz's Current Top 10 Playlist Selections

2006-04-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

Baby Boomerang - The Shins
Nan You're a Window Shopper - Lily Allen
Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz
Love Is Only A Feeling - The Darkness
Ooh La La - Goldfrapp
He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot - Grandaddy
The Sweet Fantastic - Ian Brown
In These Shoes - Kirsty MacColl
Open Your Heart - Ladytron
I Wish I Had An Evil Twin - Magnetic Fields

Creeping Desperation

2006-04-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

I am now officially the saddest person ever. Never, ever did I think I would sink so low. This morning, I received an email invitation to join a recipe exchange. A mere two or three years ago I would have deleted this instantly with a dismissive sneer and without a second thought.

TODAY, however, I thought carefully of what my contribution would be. Pumpkin Risotto? Too fussy. Lentils with feta and mash? People don't really LIKE lentils, do they? Finally, I settled on the meal that offered the best value. Only 30 minutes to make, cheap ingredients, healthful, and very tasty. Pasta with Italian Beans and Veggies. I wrote up my recipe and emailed it out, as instructed, to 10 of my friends. Well, actually, that's not true. After a look in my computer's email address book, I discovered that I didn't have 10 friends. I didn't even have 5 friends. This meant I had to resort to including family members, all of whom, I now realize (too late), will get my email, shake their heads and delete it.

I blame New Zealand. Living here for seven years now, it was bound to have an effect. I would challenge others (who may think of themselves as pretty cool and with it) to live in a small village in NZ for as long as I have, and resist the excitement promised by an email recipe exchange.

Notes from the Amanda shoot, Part 2

2006-04-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

It was fairly warm and muggy during the shoot, though thankfully, nothing close to the 32C it had been the previous week. Greg suggested that we all have a swim at the dam. I had taken a walk there the day before and noticed turtles swimming around in the dark green water. Greg cheerfully reported that there was a python in residence there, often seen sunning itself on the rocks next the water. I took a pass on the swim.

The following day as we were right in the middle of shooting, Greg's young daughter Edie and her little mate came tearing into the guest house, very alarmed.

"We need Chris! Mummy said to get Chris because there's a HUGE spider!" Chris was Chris Maait, the assistant photographer and amateur wildlife wrangler. Just like Steve Irwin, only without the hysteria or the microshorts.

We stopped shooting and everyone rushed over to the house to see what all the fuss was about. Chris instantly identified the spider in question as a Huntsman spider, and calmly collected it in a bit of plastic. The spider was a mighty beast, as big as a man's hand. We released it the woods, and it seemed to be very annoyed because as we walked away it actually ran after us!

Dave's latest 'all-time favourite songs' playlist

2006-04-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Final arrears - Mull Historical Society
Teenage Winter - Saint Etienne
LDN - Lily Allen
The morning of our lives - Jonathan Richman
Another sunny day - Belle and Sebastian
Love see no colour - The Farm
Nothing lasts forever - Echo and the Bunnymen
Terry - Kirsty Maccoll
Small World - Roddy Frame
Side Streets - Saint Etienne

Notes from the Amanda shoot, Part 1

2006-04-17T18:19:00.000-07:00

In January, we shot 18 new AMANDA cards at the home of Australian photographer Greg Bartley. To keep the budget as tight as possible, our model Amanda Dow and myself stayed at the guest house which served as the studio. "The compound" as I thought of it, was originally conceived as a spiritual retreat by the Reverend who owned the land. It consisted of the main house, guest house, caretaker's house, and a chapel.

The compound is situated on several acres of bushland near Dural, New South Wales. As the only non-Australian in the group, I found that I was particularly aware of the various insect (and arachnid) life that surrounded us. My nightly ritual was hunting and trapping the beetles and cockroaches in my room, and carefully depositing them in a glass of water. Being a city girl, I foolishly imagined that this would kill them. Inevitably, one night as I got up for a wee, I knocked the glass over, sending water and (still very lively) bugs spraying everywhere. It was like a nightmare, and I shrieked like, well...a girl. Apparently, the roaches and beetles had just been paddling around having a lovely summer's night swim.

My tales of insect horror at breakfast were met with blank expressions by my hosts and companions. Nothing less than a crocodile under my bed was going to merit any show of concern.

Dave_pod.jpg

2006-04-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Dave_pod.jpg
Originally uploaded by StripeyLiz.

Dave in The Pod.

Why brilliant card ideas aren't always brilliant

2006-04-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite new range ideas came to me in the middle of the night, and excited me so much I got out of bed and started working on it at 4 am. It was for a range which would make us famous and I felt proud yet humble.

It was called " In My World", and would be a surreal exploration of a disturbed mind's revenge fantasies. A daring, original yet thoroughly commercial range of cards which would turn the trade upside down.

I immediately got our favourite illustrator onto it, and before long images of men with baboon's arses, airborne fat people and melting cellphones were flying into my inbox. We did mock-ups of the cards and proudly showed them to everyone we knew.

No-one liked them. And when we sat back to take a closer look at them, neither did we. We quietly put them aside and got on with other things.

" In my World" was never been spoken of again. Until now.